You find the strangest things while researching. I swear I am only trying to find out if they have peaches in the summer or some such innocuous question, but I end up on these sites that proclaim the most ridiculous theories.
The Greenland Theory
I ran across this mind-bending bit of illogic the other day. It’s the brainchild of David Chase Taylor, who I am sad to say, at least at one point lived in San Diego.
According to his website, his 2014 book on the subject:
“explores the unrecognized but mighty conspiracy which has been hidden from humanity for ages…. Briefly, the Roman Empire, commonly referred to as Ancient Rome, evidently faked its own death 715 years ago and now excerpts (sic) command and control over all 206 nations of the world through its primary proxy state of Switzerland (home of the CIA) … The alleged fall of the Roman Empire and the notion that Greenland is mostly covered ice and snow are both colossal hoaxes perpetrated onto the world in order for Rome to collectively deceive and survive her enemies of the day …” (bold italics mine)
Greenland is apparently where the Roman Empire is lurking. Mr Taylor is applying for political asylum in Switzerland because the US wants to torture and kill him for revealing this information. Even though the CIA is headquartered in Switzerland, it is safe for him because they don’t carry out any of the assassinations, terror attacks, and wars they are responsible for initiating and carrying out on home soil.
The mental gymnastics he goes through to prove this are astounding. Just one: Because the letter “P” doubles as the letter “F” in Roman English (e.g., fire, pyro, etc.), Roman fakery is celebrated via the names of various sports teams such as the NFL football team entitled the Green Bay Packers (F/P+C/K+R+S) which can be read as the “Fakers”, and the NBA basketball team entitled the Indiana Pacers (F/P+C/K+R+S) which can be read as the “Fakers”.
Otto III, Holy Roman Emperor – Public Domain
The Phantom Time Hypothesis
According to German historian Heribert Illig, Pope Sylvester II and Emperor Otto III added over three hundred years to the calendar so Otto could usher in a new Rome at the beginning of the new millennium. He was crowned on Christmas Day 999, which according to this theory was really more like 750. In this scenario, the Middle Ages, commonly called the Dark Ages never existed. Charlemagne is a myth.
I guess they thought the average guy wouldn’t notice. With no newspapers, no TV, no watches … maybe they pulled it off and it’s only 1718.
The Flavian Dynasty Theory
This last one I find the most appalling.
Theories that Christianity was invented by the Romans have been around for quite some time. The gist is that the Flavian emperors (Vespasian, et al) tried to control the rebellious Jewish population by taking their religion and warping it into one that promotes peace, love, and obedience to authority, with a peace-loving, cheek-turning, obedience-preaching rabbi as its leader. They claim they have “irrefutable” proof, much of which seems to be iconography.
Emperor Vespasian – photo by Soerfm
But James Valiant and E C Fahy have kicked it up a notch, and here’s where it gets really weird.
Although the authors admit that Paul existed, and probably even Peter and James, they do not believe Jesus did. Their most outrageous claim is that Paul was a secret agent of the Empire whose job it was to promote and spread the pro-Roman gospel. The whole thing was, in reality, a massive psy-ops mission.
According to their book, “Christianity may be considered a religion, but it was actually developed and used as a system of mind control to produce slaves that believed God decreed their slavery.” This worked because “instead of inspiring warfare, this Messiah urged turn-the-other-cheek pacifism and encouraged Jews to ‘give onto Caesar’ and pay their taxes to Rome.”
The lengths people will go to to avoid facing the Truth.