“There’s Blood Everywhere…”

I’m getting tired of sales calls. I get them several times a week now, despite being on the all but worthless Do Not Call list.

Cell phones are not supposed to get unsolicited calls, since the owners often have to pay for the minutes. But my husband gets them frequently.

What’s worse, these calls are getting more and more obnoxious, if that’s even possible.

The manufacturer’s warranty on my car ran out last September, so for over a year now I get several calls a month offering to extend it. They make it sound like the manufacturer or dealer will be extending it, but it’s really a third party. The car happens to be in my husband’s name, so they always start by asking for him.

Now if any legitimate business calls for John, they will not talk to me. Verizon won’t even speak with me to find out if he was happy with the quality of customer service on the call he made to them last week. They just keep saying they’ll call back. But these warranty people, they’re more than happy to talk to me about the car I don’t legally own. So once, when I said, “He’s not here right now. This is his wife; may I help you?” the man replied, “Why, yes. Now, does he still reside with you at xxx?”

Seriously? You’re really asking me this?

Insurance companies, utilities, human resources … they can’t tell me or ask me anything without violating privacy laws, but you want to ask me if I’m living with my husband???

I was so shocked, I even now can’t remember what I said.

When Mira came home from school, I told her about it. She said I should have cried and said, “We st- still don’t t- talk about that in this h- house,” and hung up.

Great imagination, that one.

Her other suggestion works if the caller ID tells you it’s a sales call. You just pick up and say breathlessly, and a little panicky:

“OK, I did it. But there’s blood everywhere.”

Guaranteed they’ll hang up.

And probably never call back.

Think I’ll let her answer the phone from now on.