What do Pajamas, Cats and Axe Have in Common?

Image credit: pekour/123RF Stock Photo

A few months ago I was invited to speak at career day at my kids’ middle school. Actually, they invited all parents to come, and I volunteered. I agonized over what to say, researched to find tips for young writers, even had some bookmarks made with those tips on the back.

Then the day before the presentation, they told us they couldn’t figure out how to make it work smoothly enough so that the kids could visit the three classrooms they were interested in, so they would instead visit three classrooms with their homeroom teachers.

Now I’m supposed to speak to a group of kids, most of whom are most likely not interested in being writers, and tell them to read lots of books and learn grammar. For forty minutes?

What?

This can’t end well.

I quizzed my kids for suggestions. We were told to wear our “work clothes,” so I seriously considered wearing my pajamas and bringing the cat. Except it would probably terrify her, and scar her for life. I  wore yoga pants and tennis shoes instead, and left kitty home.

My oldest said to bring candy, so I bought some kisses and mini peanut butter cups.

My husband reminded me that employers complain that kids are graduating not knowing how to write, and whether they want to be authors or not, they’ll have to know how to write.

I arrived at school, praying constantly. They offered us a light lunch, then we had a half-hour before the kids came in. More frantic prayer.

photo credit: tj.blackwell via photopin cc

I introduced myself, my books, and told them I was actually a bit dressed up for how I usually wrote. I mentioned I rarely wore shoes. I told them about the cat, and they laughed. Good start.

Then we talked about writing. I asked when they might have to write in life. Crickets. I mentioned I was not above bribery—I had candy for those that participated. It worked.

Later we did a little exercise. I told them about “show vs tell,” and asked them how they would show anger. Fists, red faces, throwing things, etc. What about seeing your crush a few feet ahead in the hall? Standard answers I expected: your heart beats faster, you stutter, butterflies in your stomach, but a few surprises as well. You spray on the Axe deodorant, liberally. In the hallway? You run away. From the one person you want to talk to?

Middle school boys.

I doubt if I unleashed any future authors, but you never know. At least I survived.